Pretty Photo Album of ME

Because I'm so damn cute Mommy and Daddy got a wild hair to have a really cute photo album. They searched Ebay - where all the cool stuff is - and found someone who makes them for around $20! Here's the link to the sale. Look how great this turned out?! Yes - that's a picture of me on the front of a photo album! What will they think of next?

Front



Back

Bluey's tale, er tail, uhm, Tale of woe!

Hi - My name is Bluey. As you can see, I'm a fun loving multi-colored squirrel.

click any picture for a close up

I found this little website while searching for some sort of cure, vaccine, or anti-dote for the curse I call Mollychewalotaass. So this little website seems to portray your little Molly as quite the angel eh? I'm rather glad I was able to hack into this retarded little site to tell the truth! I know it'll be torn down the minute that jackass Dog gets wind, but I don't care. This tale, much like the story of a goofy little monkey with too much time on his hands named George, needs to be told.

Most of the beginning is fairly fuzzy, much like my sweet little caboose, but I remember being in a Wal-Mart, and picked out by this cute couple. I thought maybe they had a nice big backyard with some acorn trees that needed a little pruning and cleanup. I'm fairly good at that. Well they bring me home and introduce me to The Monster they call "Little Sweety". For the record, she is neither little nor resembles anything sweet. Take a look at my first day in the house - see the plumage on that behind?

Gorgeous huh?! That took WORK. Ya think that grew overnight? I don't actually know, because I always had it, but STILL it's damn sexy!

So the first time we're introduced, I say "Hello Molly, it's nice to meet you. Where are the trees that need a little extra effort?" Well that's what I WOULD have said if she'd given me a chance!!
At least she cut me off before I lied because all I was able to say was "Hello Mol" and she lunges at me and BIT MY FREAKING FACE! Then she drags me out of the cute ladie's hands and begins to shake me around like some kinda sock puppet! I tried to explain "HEY - I'm a squirrel - let me go - I just clean trees - I'm not for eating!" Well she must have understood that, because she only CHEWED on me - didn't bother with the swallowing part.

Very kindly of the cute couple, they rescued me after not too long. I've tried to reintroduce myself and explain my position on a number of occasions. MONSTER will have none of it and has decided my sweet little derrière is some sort of dental floss. As you can see, I've been abused, misused, degraded, and assaulted. And if anyone out there feels like rescuing me, or perhaps has a couple acorn trees that need some upkeep - I'd be happy to - JUST GET ME OUTA HERE!!

Thank you and Goodnight. Bluey

P.S. The dog is a sadist - her name should be Mollyesterer!

P.P.S. She has some boyfriend she treats the same way. I have NO idea why that grinning idiot sticks around! I think he may be a bit touched in the noodle, if you know what I mean.

I Don't Feel "Fixed"

I don't know about these people of mine.

First I had to get " fixed", whatever that means.

All I know is they shaved my belly, and now I have

stitches that I'm not allowed to lick.

So they either make me wear this

pink doggie t-shirt backwards.

Or I have to wear this giant cone.

Sheesh.